Can A Song Heal The Invisible Wounds Of War?

Posted on June 19, 2013 by Gina left the mall

Richard Casper, a Marine veteran, took a disabled Marine named Jesse to some “experts” to help him heal. Not doctors, musicians. You see, when Richard himself was dealing with the effects of TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) he discovered that writing his story down helped. Turning those stories into songs helped even more. He decided he wanted other vets to experience the tremendous difference this could make. So Richard brought Jesse to Nashville and with the help of the band, Blackjack Billy, Jesse was able to put to music things that were hard to say. It was a life-changing experience for him.

I first became aware of this from Richard’s friend and my fellow blogger, Mother Goose. When I listened to the song I was very moved because some of the lyrics were words I’ve heard before from different troops. It was beautiful and painful at the same time.

Their next goal is to raise $5,000 to produce a music video. If you’d like to be an honorary Producer in this, click here. If you’d like to help share Jesse’s song, “Til It Feels Like Home,” I know they’d greatly appreciated that.

More voices

I think for vets, and for anyone who loves them, sharing their story can be incredibly healing. While not everyone may know Richard, anyone can access StoryCorps. I found out about them when I attended an IAVA (Iraq Afghanistan Veterans of America) event.

StoryCorps says: Over the last ten years, 2.4 million men and women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan and millions of families have stood behind them at home. The military community knows well the challenges of multiple deployments, combat injuries, and long-awaited homecomings. Yet few civilians truly understand the complex realities of our troops’ service and sacrifice.

The Military Voices Initiative (MVI) amplifies their important stories and lets them know that we–as a nation–are listening.

Each conversation is recorded on a free CD to share, and is preserved at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress. StoryCorps is one of the largest oral history projects of its kind, and millions listen to our weekly broadcasts on NPR’s Morning Edition.

The stories are short, powerful, and cover so many perspectives. I listened to a soldier who had sent his wife (also a soldier) on the mission that took her life. I listened to curious kids interview their mom about what she felt like when she had to deploy. And how they felt about her being gone for a year. I listened to a man talk about one of the best days of his life- welcoming his brother home from Iraq. I listened to a father who traveled to Iraq wanting to kneel on the ground where his son had died.

Sometimes, all you need to do is listen. I think Richard and Jesse would agree.

Apparently, You Can’t Reenlist In A Latrine

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Gina left the mall

You’re in a combat zone and your enlistment is up. Exit Strategy? Nope, a chance for dedicated professionals to raise their hand once again. And while I’m sure each ceremony is very moving, the ones I’m familiar with also include a slightly different emotion. All the troops I’ve “met” have a pretty healthy sense of humor. If you’ve seen the troops imitating cheerleaders’ Call Me Maybe video, you know what I mean.

One of my soldiers in Afghanistan sent me this picture of himself and a few buddies sharing a special moment in the Pesh River. He told me a favorite reenlistment locale for his unit was standing on top of the Battalion Commander’s desk.

Taking the oath in the Pesh River (I blurred faces for privacy)

Keeping with the water theme, here’s one I found on YouTube for a Navy Petty Officer 2^nd Class.

What would mom say?

Sgt. Brown* (name changed for privacy) was in Iraq and thinking about whether or not to reenlist. I asked him what his parents thought and he said his Dad was for it. Then he shared that his Mom had died when he was a boy and he missed her very much. I told him that if he ever wanted an Official Mom Opinion, I could hook him up. I told him those opinions and the ability to write excuse notes were powers bestowed in the maternity ward. I didn’t expect him to say, “yes, I’d like that very much.”

I was kidding around to brighten his mood. This is a serious thing, how do I answer? Especially when I have a little girl that I wish I could swathe in bubble wrap and never let out my sight? (Attn: Child Services, no bubble-swathing has occurred) I wanted to do right by this fellow mom I never met and be supportive of her son. So this is what I said,

“If you reenlist, I will not get one good night’s sleep until your boots are safely back on American soil. But what is also true, is that I am so proud of the man you have become. So what I want you to do is this: follow what’s in your heart. If that’s the Army, then that’s what I want you to do. But if you’re done, I want you to come home now. Don’t feel guilty about leaving your buddies. Don’t worry about the economy. I will be there for you and help you figure out what’s next. Just promise me you’ll be honest with yourself. That’s what I want you to do.”

He thanked me and continued to think about it. Finally, he decided he wanted to reenlist. The officer in charge asked him where he’d like to do it. Sgt. Brown said, “the latrine.” That idea was overruled. I laughed and told him it was probably against regulations.

We would’ve done it

I spoke to my Pesh River soldier about the latrine locale and he said, “Our unit would’ve done it. They would’ve wondered why you’d want that, but…sure.” Apparently, you can raise your hand more ways than I thought, and even cause a few smiles along the way.

Finding The Beautiful Parts

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Gina left the mall

A soldier wrote to me about the snow-capped mountains in Afghanistan, “it’s too bad we don’t get along, I would love to snowboard there.” Another spoke of a local shopkeeper who served him tea while hand-carving a box he was buying. Yet another told me about a warm encounter in a bread factory in Kabul. These sound like very little things but they made me happy. I was glad that even in a combat zone, these troops still noticed the beautiful parts, whether in nature or simple human connections with strangers.

With all that we know about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and the real threat strangers can pose, I think retaining the ability to find the beauty around you is important.

Hand-carved box made in Afghanistan.

Kabul bread factory

This is a story Col. Mike, one of my Cup of Joe soldiers, shared with me:

We inspected a bread factory in Kabul where they make all the bread for the police in the city. The bread factory is in a huge building that was built by the Russians over 35 years ago. They have 5 giant ovens and machinery that mixes the dough. When I walked into the bread factory, there were the usual flies and there are birds that fly in through the broken windows pecking at the fresh baked bread! The women who were working there told me about how they wrap their hair with a scarf so their hair doesn’t get in the dough. I told them that I didn’t have that problem and they had a good laugh over that!

The workers shape the bread into different forms, some is flat, others are in loaves and they also make a sweet bread that is my favorite! All the bread tastes great and is a main part of every meal. Most of the workers are women and were very friendly. They were really proud of their work and kept asking me to sample the different types of bread. After every bite, I’d say “Xhoob as!” (That’s good!) and they would just get the biggest smiles on their faces! When I tried the sweet bread, I said “Beeseyahr xhoob as!!” (That’s very good!) I think they were just happy to get visitors. Unfortunately, the place was pretty run down and showed the years of use, and the strains of the turmoil over the last 30 years. But in spite of all that, they still made some of the best bread I’ve ever tasted!

In spite of all that…

In spite of all that, there are still moments of warmth to be shared and natural wonders to be appreciated. These things may be a small defense against disconnecting and feeling numb from the bigger and more dangerous moments. But as long as these troops are still noticing and connecting, that makes me feel like they’re going to be okay. And that’s a beautiful thing.

We Know Peyton Manning!

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Gina left the mall

Tuesday morning I posted, Do You Know Peyton Manning? asking for your help. Wednesday afternoon we were successful!! I want to share details and thank everyone for the kindness of their efforts. For those that saw the post, you know that Jenn, an Air Force wife, wanted to help an Air Force family who lost everything in the tornado. For those that missed it, here’s the short version in pictures.

Peyton Manning autograph in post-tornado rubble

A treasured photo found in the rubble of the Brown home

: This is the Brown family’s home. Mom, Dad and son rode out the tornado here.

: This is the storm shelter the Brown family was in.

Robin finds out

Robin Brown didn’t know we were doing this until she saw the link on Jenn’s Facebook page.

JENN: I don’t normally ask my friends and family to share things on FB, but this is one time I am going to do just that….. I would like to ask each of my friends to read this blog and to share it on your FB time-line, and if you can get your friends to share it, then even better! My friend Robin and her family have been through a lot and if we can just get the right people to see this then we might just be able to make this happen!!

Robin was surprised and then so very moved as messages and emails started coming in. Here are a few:

—I met Robin Brown when we were stationed at Keesler AFB, MS. Always there with a kind word, prayer, and a smile. If you have any idea who may have any connections to Peyton Manning, this would be incredible for this Moore, OK family. In the meantime we will continue to keep this community in our hearts and prayers.

… “My friend tweeted this to Eli Manning!!

…That is such a great thing you are trying to do. I pray this msg gets to Peyton and it helps the family find some peace after that terrible tornado.

…My friend was a Colts cheerleader while Peyton was there. I’ll forward to her

…Shared it with a good friend in CO…..see if he has any connections???

…Gina, I am a long-time Indiana resident and NFL fan who happens to follow several of Peyton’s old Indianapolis Colts teammates. I have sent a Facebook emails to some of them to see if we can reach Peyton. Hoping to help heal some emotional wounds with a small gift!

…Olivia and Archie (Peyton’s parents) live in New Orleans, which is where I’m from. I’ll check with someone who I think knows them. I’ll let you know ASAP.

…I live in Durham, N.C. (home of Duke University). I don’t have a connection personally but Duke’s head football coach David Cutcliffe was Peyton’s coach at Tennessee. Peyton has been here for training over the last couple of seasons. Here’s the email address to Duke’s football office.

The real “win”

Jenn shared a text she got from Robin:

Jennifer you’re awesome! I saw your link last night and was taken back at how my friends and my Air Force family have been so kind. You realize even if we only do a quick chat or share recipes, or lives on candy crush you still have that bond of friendship for life and when one of our own are in need we step up and try to take care of each other. I don’t know how I can replace the kindness of others but know if any one of my Air Force friends or other friends ever are in need I will mimic the same kindness I have been given. I love you all! I know “thank you” is all I got but its not enough to repay the kindness of so many people that have touched our lives. Love to you and all my friends!

After Jenn saw that, she told me,

“You know what? Even if we don’t succeed, we’ve already won. For Robin to see how much people care and to really feel it? That’s the win right there.”

My new favorite TV channel in Denver

Jenn also shared the post on pages such as Air Force family support, sports, talk shows, and a news channel in Denver. She wrote:

I am an Air Force wife… When you move from duty station to duty station you build a whole new family… an Air Force family. No matter how far away you live from that family you have built, when something happens to one of those family members you try to help them any way you can… you reach out to anyone you can think of… This is the story of my friend Robin and her family they lost everything in the tornado in OK...

Deb Stanley, a multimedia journalist for ABC News Channel 7 in Denver responded. Their sportscaster, Lionel Bienvenu, would see Peyton at practice the next day. She asked Lionel to help.

Check your messages!!

When you lose your entire home you also lose things like your phone charger. Robin was trying to find one when her son said, “Mom! Jenn says to check your messages!!” When Robin was finally able to, she read:

OMG!! We did it!! I just got a message from ABC 7 news in Denver… The sports anchor Lionel Bienvenu reached out to Peyton and they are going to get you another signed photo!!!

What I like to imagine is that moment when Robin turned around and told Steve. When, in the middle of a bad news week, she was able to share news that came with a whole lot of good. Good thoughts, good prayers and the always good…kindness of strangers, including Peyton Manning.

A loss for words

Jenn and Robin are both struggling to find words that capture how thankful they are. I know how they feel. How can I convey how grateful I am to all my readers, to all who shared and reached out, to my new favorite TV channel in Denver and to Mr. Manning?

You know, the Browns will have a beautiful photo long before they’ll have a wall to hang it on. But I hope that when the road ahead gets tough, that they can look at that photo and know how many people are rooting for them. To know that they are not alone. I thank you all for giving them that gift.

Do You Know Peyton Manning?

Posted on May 28, 2013 by Gina left the mall

I got that question and these pictures from Jenn, an Air Force wife, trying to help her friends who lost everything in the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. I asked her to explain.

A favorite picture found in the rubble of the Brown home.

The Brown Family home. Mom, Dad and son were here during the tornado.

The Brown Family

Jenn met the Browns when they were all stationed in Alaska. Robin Brown and Jenn were both teachers’ aids in the same school. Jenn’s husband and Steve Brown were both Airmen and the kids were friends too. In every branch of service, there’s a lot of moving. People come in and out of your life all the time. But because military life is so all-encompassing, the friends you make become family and stay that way despite time or distance. In civilian life, you may or may not feel this way about former co-workers and neighbors.

When the tornado hit, Steve, Robin and their son Caleb were in a shelter below their home. Their daughter Megan was a few blocks away and took shelter there. Other family members were horrified as they watched weather updates and saw the tornado heading towards the Brown’s street. With raging winds ripping apart their home beam from beam above them, Robin had doubts that they would survive. Steve did his best to be reassuring. They all prayed.

After the tornado passed, they realized they were trapped in the shelter. They smelled gas and it became more and more difficult to breathe. Caleb was able to get a text out that they were alive and needed help. Megan ran past block after decimated block to find her own home reduced to rubble, but at least she knew her family was alive. It took 45 minutes to dig the Browns out. Those minutes felt longer. But the entire family felt lucky and grateful to still have each other.

“I feel helpless”

If Jenn lived nearby, she and her family would help clear rubble. And cook food. And take them in. And do anything they needed. The fact that she can’t do these things makes her feel helpless. “I know they’re strong people, but they’ve already been through so much with Robin’s stroke and all. I wish I could do something for them.”

Then Jenn found out about the, “buried treasure.” Amazingly, as the Browns searched through the rubble, Steve found that a few precious items had survived. He found a bible that his grandmother had given him. He found his Air Force shadow box, a gift he had received when he retired after 20 years of service. And he found something else that meant a great deal to him, an autographed picture of Peyton Manning that he had bought at charity event at an OKC Thunder game. The picture was beat up, but at least it wasn’t completely gone. To Jenn, she had found something that she could DO. She could try to get that one special thing, “back to normal.”

When you have nothing left, recovering a special item touches and strengthens your heart in a tremendous way. It’s something to hold onto as you begin the long process of rebuilding your life.

Do you know…

I do not know Peyton Manning. I asked a friend in advertising who used to work on a major beer account (I figured beer…NFL.) but he didn’t have a connection. Linked In says Manning is out of my network (no surprise.) Another friend of Jenn’s had already sent a message to Manning’s website and thus far, there has been no response. So I figured I’d write this post and ask my readers.

If you know Peyton Manning or you know someone who knows him, please forward this post or email me so I may reach out. Of course, if you’re reading this and you are Peyton Manning, that works even better. In that case, I would add:

“Mr. Manning, as you can see, the Browns are going through a tough time. I’m hoping you can help Jenn do this kind thing for them. I’m hoping you can replace your photo and sign it again. With all that the Browns need, it may seem strange to request this. But I know having something they loved restored to them would lift their spirits. And that may be one of the most important things of all right now. If you would like their contact info, you can reach me here: gina@ginaleftthemall.com. Thank you for your consideration.”

Some help and little things

If anyone would like to help out in other ways, some friends of the Browns started a giving page to help them rebuild and the Red Cross is in Oklahoma trying to help all of these families who lost so much. Simply click the links to learn more or take action.

In many posts, I talk about how much the little things mean to our deployed troops. How a cup of coffee or postcard sent with a few kind and encouraging words is an incredible morale boost. But you don’t have to be deployed for little things to have this effect. I think it applies to any tough situation. There is a long to-do list for the Browns before they get even close to, “replacing treasured autograph.” But if we can make this happen, I think it will make that long list feel just a little bit lighter.

********* UPDATE 05-29-13, 5:51p.m. EST: OMG! WE DID IT!! *************

Sports Anchor Lionel Bienvenu at ABC News Channel 7 KMGH in Denver, was able to reach out to Peyton and they will get another signed photo to the family!!

JENN: I am truly at a loss for words! My husband says for the first time ever (laughter) THANK YOU to Channel 7 and THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who made my friend and her family feel cared about and loved and so touched in the midst of these nightmare days for them.

There have been a flurry of emails, messages, and people going out of their way for this project over the last 1.5 days. I will have more details and thank you’s on the next post, but please know that I am incredibly grateful for all of your efforts! xoxo, G

Don’t Forget Snowballs For Memorial Day

Posted on May 22, 2013 by Gina left the mall

Burgers, beer, sunscreen…on Memorial Day Weekend there’s shopping to do, beaches to umbrella and pools to cannonball. Even so, I’d like to suggest one more thing to the list: snowballs. Specifically, Snowball Express, a charity that serves the children of men and women who died serving our country. Since Memorial Day is meant to honor these men and women, doing something for their loved ones seems like a fine idea.

A Snowball’s chance

Snowball Express, “creates hope and new memories” for children of the fallen by organizing special events for them. It’s a chance for these kids to have fun and be with other kids in the same situation. Also, the families get to see that they are not forgotten or alone. Past events include baseball games, magic shows, and concerts.

Now you know

The number of people in active duty is small, about 1% of the population. So not everyone in the other 99% knows someone in the military. Sometimes, the meaning of Memorial Day can feel far away, like a history lesson instead of both our collective past and present. If that’s the case, I’d like you to know someone this day is for, Pfc Jesse Givens. I found his last letter to his family on the Snowball Express site. It inspired them even further in their work. It brought me to tears. (Reader note- if you have a loved one who is deployed right now, I’d skip to the next section.)

22-April-03

My family:

I never thought I would be writing a letter like this, I really don’t know where to start. I’ve been getting bad feelings though and well if you are reading this….

I am forever in debt to you, Dakota, and the bean. I searched all my life for a dream and I found it in you. I would like to think that I made a positive difference in your lives. I will never be able to make up for the bad. I am so sorry. The happiest moments in my life all deal with my little family. I will always have with me the small moments we all shared. The moments when you quit taking life so serious and smiled. The sounds of a beautiful boy’s laughter or the simple nudge of a baby unborn. You will never know how complete you have made me. Each and every one of you. You saved me from lonliness and taught me how to think beyond myself. You taught me how to live and to love. You opened my eyes to a world I never dreamed existed. I am proud of you. Stay on the path you chose. Never lose sight of what is important, you and our babies.

Dakota you are more son then I could ever ask for. I can only hope I was half the dad. I use to be your “danny” but no matter what it makes me proud that you chose me. You taught me how to care until it hurts, you taught me how to smile again. You taught me that life isn’t so serious and sometimes you have to play. You have a big beautiful heart. Through life you need to keep it open and follow it. Never be afraid to be yourself. I will always be there in our park when you dream so we can still play. I hope someday you will have a son like mine. Make them smile and shine just like you. I love you Toad I hope someday you will understand why I didn’t come home. Please be proud of me. Please don’t stop loving life. Take in every breath like it’s your first. I love you toad I will always be there with you. I’ll be in the sun, shadows, dreams, and joys of your life.

Bean, I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful. I know you will be strong and big hearted just like your mom and brother. I will always have with me the feel of the soft nudges on your moms belly, and the joy I felt when we found out you were on your way. I dream of you every night, I always will. Don’t ever think that since I wasn’t around that I didn’t love you. You were conceived of love and I came to this terrible place for love. I love you as I do your mom and brother with all my heart and soul. Please understand that I had to be gone so that I could take care of my family. I love you Bean.

I have never been so blessed as the day I met Melissa. You are my angel, soulmate, wife, lover, and best friend. I am sorry. I did not want to have to write this letter. There is so much more I need to say, so much more I need to share. A lifetime’s worth. I married you for a million lifetimes. That’s how long I will be with you. Please keep our babies safe. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone. Take care of yourself, believe in yourself, you are a strong, big hearted woman. Teach our babies to live life to its fullest tell yourself to do the same. Don’t forget to take Toad to Disney World. I will be there with you. Melissa I will always want you need you and love you in my heart, mind, and soul. Do me a favor, after you tuck Toad and Bean in, give them hugs and kisses from me. Go outside look at the stars and count them. Don’t forget to smile.

Love Always
Your husband
Jess

A Memorable Weekend

Here’s to making wonderful new memories this weekend and honoring some old ones. And I don’t know about you, but I’ll be having a Snowball with my burger.

photo courtesy of Tinyspitcracker

Aloha Kandahar

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Gina left the mall

I had a soldier in Kandahar whose job was to clear roads of IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices.) I decided that soldier needed a luau.

His base in Kandahar

They already have sand…

When it comes to care packages, troops appreciate anything. While there are staples and standard items, doing themes is fun for both the sender and sendee. I figured since this soldier already had plenty of sand, I would give him a “luau” in a box.

It’s hard to tell from the picture but, those are TROPICAL flavored Tums and the small brown bag is Kona coffee. I got some cigars and made a cigar box out of a small USPS flat-rate box so they wouldn’t get smushed.

A real luau is a large feast not a hearty snack. However, it is where you gather with friends, wear bright colors and relax. I was hoping my version might make him smile after a long day. Since troops often share what they receive with their buddies, I knew the cigar break would be appreciated and help reduce stress a little. With or without wearing leis.

Other essential items

Even when I send hygiene items, I’ll still toss in something fun. You never know when a game of dodgeball may break out. It’s good to be prepared.

When my friend Abby found out about the fun-factor she wanted to help think of ideas. I was about to send something to my solider based in the mountains and hadn’t come up with anything yet, so I accepted her help.

ABBY EXCITEDLY: I know! I know! How about a kite?

ME: So… a bright, red, diamond-shape in the sky that can be seen for miles attached to a string that leads directly to his position on the ground?

ABBY: Oh, that wouldn’t be good. What about a canteen?

ME: I have a feeling the Army gives them canteens. The Army may have even invented canteens.

Abby and I had a good laugh as we decided she should help in other ways. Imagine a kite in these mountains near his base.

Afghanistan

A different box

Of course, there’s more than one kind of box you can fill that makes a difference. That would be a mailbox because a simple letter or postcard can mean a great deal.

One thing I like about Soldiers’ Angels is the opportunity to help other members with their projects. Last week, an “angel” put the word out that her adopted soldier, a female combat medic, and her entire unit (50 soldiers) were having some tough days. The angel wanted to send them a care package filled with encouraging letters and postcards from all across the country. It only took a few minutes to write a letter and postcard. It only cost two stamps and the price of the postcard.

While the luau box was fun, I love that I can make an impact by doing something small too. Because if there’s one place in the world where little things mean a lot, it’s wherever our troops are far from home.

Gina left the mall

"America's not at war, we're at war. America's at the mall." -anonymous U.S. Troop